dictation's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calories ...you're on my mind... paragraph of the day: My diet weary mind tried to do a quick estimate of the total caloric content of the room. It had to be in the tens of millions, like the distance from here to the next galaxy or something. AS I stood there reeling in the presence of all that glorious food, LLQueen appeared from behind me, a drink in her hand. By then, I didn’t even feel any special relief at seeing her. I had stopped wondering if this was the right party. I had decided that with a feed like this, ANY party could be the right party. from another just discovered diarist. A fascinating person who describes herself as ordinary and who has lived a rather extraordinary life. Diaries are like the millions of stars and planets blinking and twinking in the dark. Some of them have long since died and yet they hang in the ether, adrift and abandoned, still available to be read. How many good ones, I wonder, are out there and I'll never see them. I had thought that keeping track of everything I'm eating would be a drag, a bore. And sort of a stupid, almost self-indulgent thing to do. Because it feels silly to have to do this. Like learning how to ride again using a three-wheeler. Now that I'm in control of portions and calories, however, I can't imagine not keeping track. Simply put, keeping track is keeping me on the straight and narrow. I am no longer pigging out, overeating, and eating indiscriminately. I'm no longer feeling frustrated and angry about food. I no longer worry about not getting enough food or about having cravings I can't seem to control. Still, I have this need to write about food, which means I am still intensely focused on food. The difference is it's a positive focus, a conscious focus. I'm trying to work it out. 10:43 p.m. - 2004-03-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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